i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
