we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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