I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Randomize
