can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
