By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
