it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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