Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
