im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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