Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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