If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
