I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
