At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize