i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
