You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
