Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
