we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
