I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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