Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
