Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
