You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
