you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
