The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
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