just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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