Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
