your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
