Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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