did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
