I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
