I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
