dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
