i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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