Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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