so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I checked into jail on foursquare
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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