It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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