that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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