I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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