I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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