it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
