I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
