Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
