Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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