i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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