how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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