Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize