Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
