You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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