Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
