We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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