Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize