he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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