Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Sex in the backyard? Check.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
