Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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