What a fucking waste of an outfit
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
