I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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