So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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