if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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