Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
wanna go halves on a baby?
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
