i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
You're like the curious george of whores
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
