BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize