Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
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