let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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