dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
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It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
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She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
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