All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
