I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
