hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
