this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
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You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
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The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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