You're my little dorito
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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