never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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