He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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