ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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