why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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