He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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