No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize
