if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
