You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
