just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
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Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
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I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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